Funniest Quotes
The right words from a screenwriter delivered with the right timing from an actor can produce moments that are both memorable and funny.
Here’s the list of the funniest movie quotes ranked and rated by our visitors.
31. Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen as Alvy Singer, in “Annie Hall”
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32. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides…
- Samuel L. Jackson as Jules Winnfield, in “Pulp Fiction”
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33. I don’t want to buy or sell anything that’s processed.
- John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler, in “Say Anything”
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34. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
- Rip Torn as Patches O\’Houlihan, in “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story”
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35. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
- Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller, in “Ferris Bueller\’s Day Off”
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36. This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter.
- Will Smith as Agent J, in “Men In Black”
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38. If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer!
- Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura, in “Ace Venture, Pet Detective”
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39. Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn’t we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? ‘Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we’d all be put out in K.P.
- Robin Williams as Adrian Cronauer, in “Good Morning, Vietnam”
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40. The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe… women!
- Christopher Lloyd as Dr. Emmett \”Doc\” Brown, in “Back to the Future Part II”
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